We have all heard the term true love and to each one of us, those two words put together spark a different meaning. To some, the term ‘true love’ is what they search for their entire lives, to find that special person to spend the rest fo their life with. To others, the term ‘true love’ is nothing but a hoax, a mirage created by us to provide an explanation or a reason when one relationship doesn’t work out. But regardless of what true love means to you as a person, one thing cannot be denied, and that is that true love, however real you choose it to be in your life, cannot remain if not constantly proven.
A really wise and amazing young woman once told me that if she could change everything about her love life up until that point, she would replace it with one word, consistency. This was a statement that resonated very deeply within me because it put so much in to perspective. You see, as humans we require constant affection, we want to feel wanted, especially by our significant other because that’s what makes us feel loved and like we matter. How many times have you been in a relationship with someone, a girl or a boy, perhaps just someone who is a friend to you, but they have done very little to show you that they care about you? Think about this, if you had two friends and one brought you cake when you were sad and sat back to talk to you and constantly checked up on you and another friend who you joked around with, made fun of things and other people and had very face value conversations, who would you be closer to? When it comes to love, consistency, I believe, is the key. You have to show your partner how much you care about them, how much you love them. Just because you are dating or married does not mean that you do not have to prove that you are in love. I saw a picture a couple of years back on the website 9gag.com, where an eighty year old man sat in a metro with a bouquet of flowers for his wife. And in that moment I could see nothing but true love. It does not matter if you are a boy or a girl, when it comes to your partner, the person you have chosen to share a special bond with, constantly proving that you are in love with them will hold more standing then anything else you could ever do. Simple things such as date nights, flowers, calling or talking to them when the need you or just randomly to tell them they are handsome or beautiful is all it takes but it’s not the gesture but why you do it and how often you do. Love is a word that has caused great change in our lives. Wars have been fought over it, people have done things they wouldn’t normally do and all for what? To win the hearts of someone they hold very dear to their own. Love is complicated, it holds its own meaning to every single individual and through the hard times, through every single day, if you love someone, tell them. Make it known to them, if you are in a relationship, finish reading this and go tell that person that you love them and that they brighten up your world. But don’t do it because I’m telling you to, do it because you want to be consistent. Do it because you are in love and trust me, you will know when you are because being so consistent? Making it known that you love them every day? That won’t be hard if you’re with someone that you truly love. So take a step back and think about it and remember, it is not what you do but how and why you do it. Truthfully yours...
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Heartbreak, at some point in our life we have or most probably will go through it. Like a bad movie, we don't necessarily LIKE the experience but it shapes us, molds us into the people we will be in the future.
Before I begin however, its worth noting that today I’m not talking about the horrors of heartbreak, the sad, depression filled realm we tend to lock ourselves in, although I may touch upon the matter. Rather, I wish to help all of you, those going through heartbreak and even those who aren't so that you can help a friend who is or when YOU do, you will be a little, I hope, better off. There are little things that can match the emotional pain of a heartbreak and often when someone is forced to endure such an experience it can catapult them into a never ending strain of depression, self hate and worst of all self doubt. Try to imagine being locked in solitary confinement, this is heartbreak. The cell around you is the void you are stuck in, you may cut everyone out of your life, the door is your one way out but the person who broke your heart locked it and walked away. You’re stuck, alone in a dark cell, no contact to the outside world, you start to lose hope of ever seeing the light again. Of course, this is not a standard procedure, people have different ways of coping, some even spend more time with their friends. These people are those who don't give their all, who always keep a key hidden at first just in case they require it. They love with their whole heart, but don't let love cloud their judgment. But lets focus for a bit, on the people who don't have a spare key, the ones locked away with no escape. To these people, they will be a few people who will have a spare key, closest friends. These are the people that they care about the most, the ones they have trusted with the key to their very hearts and souls. And so if you are one of these people, treat the key with care. But what happens once the door is opened? Once you are free? Well, regardless of how you deal with heartbreak, when it happens, we end up doing things two things. Two things that will stay with us for the rest of our lives. The fantastic Indian comedian Vir Das put it perfectly, ‘We will do things that we are proud off and we will do things that we are not so proud off…but really enjoy.’ And that is just what it is, we will get back up, we will find someone better, we will move on and live a happy life and we will be very proud of that. But, we will do things that we are not so proud of as well, things like buying something new and expensive to occupy our time. Sure, we may not be the most proud of it but we will enjoy it very much. However, when it comes time to choose a road to go down, we become faced with a decision. Just what is it we are going to do that we will not be proud of but enjoy, and it is here where things can become a bit dicey and where it is important to think before you speak. Remember that there is a big difference between moving on and hurting someone. It is easy to make the wrong decision in a time of weakness and try to achieve vengeance on the person who hurt you. But understand this, you may enjoy it at first, watching the person who tore your heart apart bleed, fall to their knees and weep as you stand triumphantly above them. But as the days roll to months and eventually to years, such a decision will haunt you forever. Do not live a lifetime of regret for a moment of joy. The person who hurt you chose to leave your life, let them go because such a position, the position they occupied should be reserved for a special person. Do what you can look back on years later and say, ‘Yes, I am proud of what I did.’ And that is truly when you have defeated those who hurt you, the best revenge is choosing to forgive and learn from your mistakes. And so I tell you to remember his my dear readers and friends, no matter how bad you are hurting, no matter how bad life seems, handle it well and most importantly, be proud of what you do. Truthfully yours… Silence, a seven letter word with the power to make or break an individual. Silence can have a stronger meaning than one may be lead to think, for example, if you are mad at someone you may not message or talk to them, this is a form of silence we like to call the 'silent treatment'. Quite simple in its creation the silent treatment can send a clear message of annoyance to someone. But it can do worse things to a person if used wrongly.
We have all no doubt heard of the saying, 'The pen is mightier than the sword.' Simply put, this phrase showcases the true power that words can have over a person, how a simple sentence can destroy a man's hopes or lift him to new heights. In very much the same way, silence does the act. Long periods of silence from a loved one can lead to a person feeling alone, even hated. There are different types of silence of course. The type in which you are stuck in a room and there is no sound, I like to call this 'insanity silence' because long periods exposed to this can literally drive you insane. FUN FACT, the world's quietest room is -9 decibels, so quiet you can hear your blood pumping through your veins. But the worst type is that which you receive from a person you wish nothing more than to talk to all day. I have been victim to this, I still am today to a certain extent. A friend of mine, someone I hold very close to my heart refuses to talk to me, of course, I may be overthinking things as usual, but I will put up a separate blog on overthinking. Simply put, silence takes many faces. It can be friendly, liberating, allowing you time to think and appreciate the sounds of nature and life herself. OR it can be deadly, leading a person to insanity or a feeling of loneliness. We've all done it to someone, and if you think you haven't you are sadly mistaken. Leaving a person on read is a form of silence, not reading the message also fits the bill. Even replying in single word answers is a form of silence that can hurt a person greatly because it shows an unwillingness to converse with him or her. No matter what type you use or have received, it cant be argued that sometimes, saying nothing at all, is saying just enough. truthfully yours... Before you start judging me for writing about love, I would like to clear things up. No, this is not a story about love, well, not the kind frequently thought about. In fact, this is a love shared between two friends, between two people who are willing to help each other and do anything to make the other rise to the occasion and reach his or hers full potential.
I found this friend of mine a couple of year ago. I hadn't even known him before then but we just...clicked! It was something about us, something we shared that brought us together. Perhaps it was our love for the English language, maybe it was our desire to do something different or maybe it was just the fact that we both loved to be creative. We were perfect complements. I would start something, something truly creative but would never muster up the will to complete it or atlas end it on the same note it began. I would always drift away from what I was doing, moving rapidly between thoughts and ideas. My friend, he was the same. He had brilliant ideas, sometimes better than the best geniuses themselves but he could never figure out where to begin and even when he did, it was never as good as it was at the end. But I won't go on about it because my judgement is based on a few things that I've seen of his. Our friendship began a couple of years ago and ever since then we have fallen into perfect rhythm. We work in tandem, ensuring the other stays on track and starting and finishing on the same level. Brilliance from start to finish, at least I'd like to think so. He's different, he's fun but he knows when to work hard and when to play hard, if you get that reference. The truth is, without him, I would't get much done and I'd like to think that he depends on me the same way. Alone we can do stuff just fine, the work we put out will be good if nothing else but I've learnt that when we're together, when we put our creative minds to the test and work in tandem, we end up with projects and presentation that are better than anyone could ever expect. Our creative power together is something I have come to love. Frankly speaking, I love working with him because not only do we understand each other but we only make each others suggestions better. We aren't afraid to change something if we have a better idea but even when we do, in those rare cases, we always make sure to have the consent of the other because at the end of the day, it's not just me or him, it's us. Our blood, sweat and tears were put in together and what ever comes out the other end is because the BOTH of us made our contributions. If it wasn't for him, I don't think I would have had such a passion for what I do and I like to think that its the same on his end. My amazing friend is, if you've read the about page of this blog you probably have guessed, Aaditya Raghu. And as he always says, ' It's your passion that drives you, that makes your life worth living.' Find yourself and Aaditya Raghu because trust me when I saw this, you'll be better for it. Truthfully yours... Today I’m posting a topic that I wrote about when I was 11, something that most of us don’t really give much thought about outside of the school grounds. The following is my exact text, with a few tweaks, from the letter I wrote five years ago.
Teachers…the people who help us, teach us and set us on the right paths (most of the time), and yet some of us don’t like some of them. Why is that? To be a likeable teacher you have to be kind, gentle, happy go-lucky and funny. You have to, to make a long story short, be able to entertain your class and keep them interested and eager to learn and listen to what you have to say. You have to exhibit all the traits mentioned above and still get the job done, much like in life. Yet most teachers fail to do this. Teachers believe in strict discipline. They feel the most important thing is to ensure that the work assignments are done. And while that is ok, you can’t expect kids who are being constantly pressured into something to achieve anything at it. I say, “force a child and they will fail, encourage a child and they will discover their passion in due time.” It is then, this lack of encouragement to the duller child that makes some of our teachers fail. Truthfully yours... We often ask ourselves, what is love? Does it really exist? Well i’ll tell you something, it does. I know it seems crazy but love truly does exist. it exists in our hearts. It exists between friends, families and yes, partners. I’m sure you’ve read many books, papers and stories about love, different ways it comes about, different ways it courses through our lives. Today however, i’m not going to be talking about those forms of love, today i want to talk about love in its truest from. Love in the real world. Real love if you will. I believe the world is divided into many sections that we have formed as we have grown as a civilisation. The world of politics, the world of greed, a world full of hatred, a world of war. And after taking away all the separate factions we have created to benefit us we are left with a small section of the world which remains without pollution from any corrupt sources. We enter a world of peace, happiness, generosity and above all, a world where love exists as a form of attraction and compassion, not one of greed and dishonesty. It is in this small section of the ‘Real World’ that we can truly understand the long asked question, what is love?
Countless hours of reading books and watching movies since i was just a child have shown me that no two love stories are exactly alike. Sure, many journey the same course but each eventually alter their courses if even by a fraction, and this changes the outcome quite remarkably. But of course these are just fictional cases, made up in the minds of people with a passion to draw in audiences. These stories are mean’t to bring a tear to our eye, a smile to our lips and a beat to our hearts. These outcomes, these courses of love could never take place in the real world it is just not possible. Or is it? Why are we so quick to judge that love can and cannot journey in a certain path? Why do we eliminate the possibility of a scenario by labelling it ‘improbable’? I believe that the cause of this lies in the same reason why we are so quick to judge a young couple. For an adult or even another teenager, seeing a young couple in the streets acting cute and cuddly is unacceptable. Seeing two teenagers holding hands and walking down the street is taken as stupid and a waste of time. Some might even go far enough to say it is wrong. But why? Why are we so quick to judge that young teenage couple? Some adults will provide the explanation, ‘They are only teenagers, they don’t even know what love is yet’. To those adults out there i pose the same question, “Do you know what love really is?” Ask any adult and they will never be able to give you a straight, definite answer. And most shocking of all, no two answers will be the same, even between the two adult partners! Theres a reason for this. Love is not something you can hold or touch, you can’t see it and you can’t taste it. You can only feel it and no two people will feel it the same way. Sure, we all have a basic idea of what we feel. An overwhelming sensation to be with the one we love all day and all night. But going by just this explanation, why can’t two teenagers feel the same way? The truth is, it’s not that teenagers are incapable of this feeling, it’s that we have grown to be incapable of understanding this. And this is wrong, we should embrace it rather than turn it down. Many adults also put forth the argument that teenagers tend to get into trouble because the sneak of and meet up. But is that really their fault? If you lock a person in a room their instinct is to get out. If you starve a person and put him next to an animal, his instinct will be to hunt and kill. If you take two teenagers who are attracted to each other and keep them away, they will find a way to be together. Rather than work to keep them separate, let them be together, they will be happy and no harm will come from letting them spend time together. the only reason a teenager in love will act out is if you deny him or her what they want most. And all the while they worry about their parents who could actually be supporting them and spending time with them. Instead, teenagers must lie and hide the fact that they are in a relationship. But again i ask, why? The reason is because we label it as ‘improbable’. We can not believe that a teenager is capable of experiencing love. And so i ask my question again, why do we label it this way? Is it because we are scared? Are we worried we will lose our young boy or girl? Or are we so caught up in the real world, diseased with corruption and greed, that such acts of heart felt attraction are seen as only to exist in the pages of a book or frames of a reel? The truth of the matter is that modern day society has lost sight of true love, while some still believe it exists many have strayed from its path. Heartbreak is one of the many causes. This is not to say that heartbreak did not exist in the past, but with the introduction of technology supposedly bringing us together, we have managed to create a mask over what we actually feel. Technology has brought us closer no doubt, but thanks to it, it has also pushed us further, allowing us to put up barriers and seem completely fine even though we are crying inside. Due to this, heartbreak is much more painful and consequently it forces people to believe that love doesn’t really exist. But the good part about a path is that no matter how much you get lost, it will always be there for you to find your way back. And thanks to the few of us who still believe love exists in its truest form, the path is still very much there. we just have to find it. So we reach the question everyone is asking, what is love? Well the best answer i can give you is this. Love is like a fire. It gives you a warm fuzzy feeling as long as you are around it. No two fires will ever be the same, but don’t jump into it unless you’re prepared to deal with the pain you might face, if you’re not quite ready. Truthfully yours... I am The Truth Teller or triple T if you want to call me that. I like to believe that I have a very different type of mindset, I like to challenge everyday norms that we follow or believe in without questioning them or ever asking ourselves, why? The truth is, most of us live our lives never getting the chance to speak out, and even if we do, we don't take it. We live in this constant fear that we will be judged for what we say, for being different. The biggest problem, I feel, is that society refuses to accept those who push it forward. It's those who strive to be different that builds society and pushes the boundaries. Maybe this strikes fear in those who cannot understand it or maybe we just can't accept the fact that not everything we do is the right thing to do.
This blog is a representation of my feelings towards that. It's about being different, looking at things differently, challenging that which we accept without question. No, I don't want to change the world, there's nothing wrong with it. The problem lies with us, and our inability to accept change and peaceful ways of resolution. I don't want to change the world, i just want to make people rethink it. |
Sean H.
Happy go-lucky. When he needed a place to speak his mind he turned to the internet. |